Drugs

So I'm depressed again. Today was like a rollercoaster. WHOOOO. Yes. Indeed. Anyway, about my day. So I woke up at six this morning. But I decided to go back to sleep. Then I woke up at twelve. Good times. Anyway, so I watched TV for a while. It was good. I was watching this new Chinese drama. I'm not Asian, BTdubs. I just like watching Chinese TV. At least I don't watch Korean stuff. That stuff makes me want to throw up on the inside. Anyway, the Chinese drama was nice. It was about drugs. I like drugs.

...that came out wrong. I meant to say, I like it when people portray how drugs affect people. There. That sounded better. But it's not what I really meant. Oh well. Good enough. Anyway, so I finished watching around 3:10. And I had to go to Chinese class at four, which meant I had to leave the house by 3:30. So yea. And I didn't have anything to do for twenty minutes, so I just wandered around the house. And that's when it happened. I became depressed again! Where is this coming from?! I need to find it, and then destroy it. I must destroy depression. It's disgusting. I just sat there, doing nothing, and all these feelings were trying to attack me. Now what? What I am doing? Why do I feel so empty? What's my purpose in life? What am I here for? It was like, I had no idea what to do. After I finished watching, I didn't know what to do. Everything just felt so empty. It was so confusing.

I had never felt so depressed before. Why did I feel so depressed? I didn't feel depressed during Winter Break last year. Or during Summer vacation. Or even during Thanksgiving break. And that was three weeks ago! Why is this happening to me?! I know why. Feelings. That's why. Stupid feelings. Feelings are even worse than change. But where the heck are these feelings coming from?! I just want to find the source of these feelings and just destroy it. No. That would be letting it off too easy. I have to torture it and then destroy it. It's too bad I have no idea why I'm so depressed. Is it because I miss people? Well, that doesn't make sense. It doesn't feel like I'm missing anyone. Then again, I have no idea why I'm depressed. Maybe that's why. Could I be missing school? That makes sense. I feel like there's an empty space. Maybe it's because I usually have school to pass the time. And now that it's gone, the space that it left behind can't be filled. But that doesn't make any sense. Me missing school? Please. What a joke. NUCKENFUTS. What is it, then?! This is killing me on the inside.

I need some anti-depressants. Whoo. More drug talk. Maybe I'm sad because of drugs. But I don't take drugs. Okay. I'm very confused. Why am I so depressed?! I need help. I need something. Anything. ARHGHG;ALJD NJLKGDSANB LKJF ;LKJ NLSK. I feel better. VIVIAN OUT.